we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
