The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
are you so shy because you have an std?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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