No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize