thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
did i just pee glitter
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
