I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
