So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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