i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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