you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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