Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
