You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
