I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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