Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize