I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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