my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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