My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
