Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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