i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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