i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
