Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
