just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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