Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
