There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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