too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
