The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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