This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
