I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
