I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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