There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
