Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
