I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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