What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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