Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send help, water and tortillas.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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