just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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