my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
