I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
