Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
