Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
