I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
