Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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