Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
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As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize