he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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