I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I FOUND THE LEGS
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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