Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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