If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
