no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
