Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize