What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
