Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
