Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
