Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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