I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
