do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
