You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
