I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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