Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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