would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I think my moral compass just broke
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